Losing Before the Starting Line

Glen Beck, the latest angry US pundit, spoke out a couple of days ago against US President Obama’s (now unsuccessful) trip to Copenhagen to lobby the Olympic Committee to hold the 2016 Olympics in Chicago. He mentioned that the Vancouver Olympics had already “lost a billion dollars”.

The White House called him out on the fact that as we all know all-too-well around here, the Olympics haven’t taken place yet:

RHETORIC: BECK SAID VANCOUVER LOST $1 BILLION WHEN IT “HAD THE OLYMPICS.” Glenn Beck said, “Vancouver lost, how much was it? they lost a billion dollars when they had the Olympics.” [Transcript, Glenn Beck Show, 9/29/09]

REALITY: VANCOUVER’S OLYMPICS WILL NOT TAKE PLACE UNTIL 2010. Vancouver will host the 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Games from February 12 – 28, 2010 and March 12-21, 2010, respectively. [Vancouver2010.com, accessed 9/29/09]

In response, Beck explained that he meant Calgary, and then began an accounting of how much he thinks Vancouver is going to lose, with the final tab coming to somewhere around a 4.5 billion-dollar shortfall. I’m speechless. The audio, via YouTube, is below:

Things Only a Republican Could Believe

I haven’t blogged much about US politics in a while, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been following the farce that is the current debate about ‘Death Panels’, Obama’s birth certificate, Conspiracies about the subversive artwork around Rockefeller Center and other inanities.

I saw this on reddit.com, and would normally merely link to it, but it’s so spot-on that I just had to include it here. Sure, it’s got some rude words and is a bit angry, but these days, so are a lot of us:

So, y’all remember that email that went around years ago called “Things Only a Republican Could Believe”? I’m pretty sure there was a Democratic variant as well. Well, I’ve put together a new and updated list and wanted to run it by you. Please feel free to add to it or offer corrections\comments. If you like it — email it out to your spamming list. I’m hoping for a bit of a viral effect to get it circulating. Satire is an effective weapon against craziness!

I make no apologies if you consider yourself a Republican. I am a registered Independent and have voted Republican at various levels of government, but the current crop of Republicans at the national level are off the reservation. To call them bat shit crazy would be an insult to bat shit.

  • Parents who don’t want their children to pray in school are Anti-American zealots — parents who don’t want their children to listen to a speech by the President of the United States telling them to work hard and get good grades are noble patriots.
  • Peacefully demonstrating against the country starting an international war is treason — showing up with automatic weapons to protest healthcare reform is democracy at its finest.
  • Any government official with a desk job should have every action scrutinized — any government official with a badge and a gun should never be questioned or disrespected. At all. Ever.
  • Questioning the legitimacy of an election because the “winner” was selected by the Supreme Court is sour grapes — questioning the legitimacy of an election because the winner (by the largest number of votes in American history) is really a Kenyan born Muslim despite all evidence to the contrary is being a vigilant American.
  • Lying about a blowjob is an impeachable offense — lying about a war is no big deal, really.
  • Investigating a shady land deal involving the First Lady is a matter of National Identity — investigating the use of torture at the direction of the Executive Branch is a partisan witch hunt.
  • Executing Japanese officers for waterboarding prisoners during WWII shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights — waterboarding (our own) prisoners of our shows that we have the moral high ground on human rights.
  • Sitting two rows in front of Jane Fonda in a 1970 anti-war rally is an OUTRAGE!  Shaking Saddam’s hand in 1983…meh, not so much.
  • Anyone who questions the president during a time of war is giving aide and comfort to the enemy and should be deported…unless the president in question has a (D) next to their name in which case you should undermine them at every turn even if you have to routinely make shit up to do it.
  • Socialism, Marxism, Communism and Fascism are all interchangeable words that mean pretty much the same thing.
  • Anyone who abuses drugs should be locked up indefinitely…unless they are a popular Republican radio host in which case they need your prayers as they recover from the illness of addiction.
  • Health Insurance companies have your best interests in mind and anyone who thinks otherwise is trying to turn America into the Godless heathen nation of Sweden where everyone in the country dies (eventually).
  • Obama is an atheist communist muslim who attended a radical christian church.
  • Believing that human activity could impact the global environment is crazy talk — believing that an invisible man in the sky personally told George Bush to invade Iraq to fulfill Biblical prophecy is logically sound.
  • The verdict is still out on evolution — but Jesus Christ returning in our lifetimes is a pretty much a given.
  • The media are unquestionably biased against Republicans — Talk Radio, The Washington Times, The Weekly Standard, The Wall Street Journal, Rightwing Blogs, Fox News and NewsCorp are not part of the media.
  • The government should have no part in regulating multinational corporations as they make decisions that impact the lives of millions of people — government should regulate individuals by determining who they can marry, what kind of intercourse they can have, what they can smoke, how to manage their pregnancy and how to proceed with end of life decisions.
  • Communicating with hostile nations is a stab in the back to our great nation — Reagan communicating with the USSR during the Cold War was Political Genius.
  • Iran is a mortal threat to our nation and anyone who attempts to talk to them is traitorous scum — selling weapons to Iran and then funneling the money to start wars in South America is clearly in our National interest.
  • George Bush kept the nation safe after 9-11 (NOTE: the Anthrax attacks, the DC Sniper and Hurricane Katrina don’t count. Also, the fact that 9-11 happened on his watch despite receiving a security briefing specifically warning of the attack doesn’t count either.)
  • Social Security, Meidcare, public schooling, public libraries, fire departments, police departments and the US Military are as American as Apple Pie — universal healthcare is ZOMGDEATHPANELSOCIALISM!!
  • George W Bush is a regular ‘ole Texas rancher just like you and me despite the fact that he was born in Connecticut, attended two Ivy League schools, bought the Crawford ranch just before running for president, sold it immediate after leaving office and is terrified of horses.
  • The two guys at the center of the Watergate and Iran-Contra scandals are trustworthy voices in discussions of current national policy and should be taken at face-value.

…and my addition that I heard some time back on twitter and still quote to this day:

  • Gay Marriage is a crime against nature but Turducken is OK??
  • Follow up:
    I loved this bit of video from MSNBC that sums up how I’m feeling about a great deal of America these days:

    Fox News Has No Shame (as Usual)

    When Governor Mark Sanford made his tearful Press Conference announcing that he had secretly left the US to visit the woman he was having an affair with in Buenos Aires (and left his wife and sons over Father’s Day – Classy move, dude), Fox News decided that this was reason enough to switch his party affiliation for him (notice the ‘D’ next to his name):

    Mark Sanford Now a Democrat?

    Mark Sanford Now a Democrat?

    They later corrected it, but not after leaving this lie up a good long time.

    Nice try.

    Update: Apparently, they (Fox, that is) have indeed been at this a long time.

    Brilliance From Keith Olbermann

    Keith Olbermann, the MSNBC pundit, and frequent spokesman for the US Left, kept me believing that common decency had not completely left our former country during the last administration. I still watch his show via an iTunes podcast, since we don’t get MSNBC here. I’ve kept watching him, mainly because I still want to keep in touch with what’s going on down there, and I have to admit that the results of yesterday’s Provincial election here have me a little disappointed, especially since we can’t vote yet. (I’d say ‘Wait till next year’, but we’ll have to wait another 4 years to get our chance.)

    Despite the fact that Olbermann doesn’t have George W. Moron to kick around any more (and let’s face it, as James Carville said on Real Time with Bill Maher: “The man was a walking punch-line.”), every once in a while he is able to mix his portion of outrage with equal parts humour, and the result is priceless. Tonight, he was in rare form, and I just had to share:

    Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

    He’s a geniusGenius, I tells ya’!

    Coming Up for Air and Tired Old Phrases

    I’ve had to neglect blogging for much of this month, because I’ve been working very hard. It’s hopefully going to work out in the end, but this is one of those times where I have to keep intoning that mantra “It’s Only Temporary.” So, while today was one of those picture-perfect days we in Vancouver get in the spring and summer, I must confess that I only saw it via the occasional peek at a the KatKam webcam from my windowless office. I might as well have been underground, instead out in the place that has once again been named by Mercer Consulting, Number 4 of the ‘Top 5 quality of living ranking for cities worldwide‘. While I am proud of the fact that my home is once again up there with Vienna, Zurich, Geneva and Auckland as one of the best places to live, I have to admit that for us personally, for a variety of reasons,  it’s been a very tough past couple months. However, I’m looking forward to beautiful sunny days with cool breezes, local strawberries and asparagus, walks along the False Creek seawall and the return of the Farmer’s Markets on the weekends. The fountain in the park across the street is flowing again, and the tulips are out in full force. I just have to be sure to get out and enjoy all of those things. After all, they are all only temporary as well.

    Heard Often. Way Too Often

    To keep an eye on our former country, Pam and I have tried to catch one of the network news channels from the US each evening over dinner, so we keep switching between TiVO recordings of Brian (Williams), Katie (Couric) and Charlie (pronounced the way Sarah Palin did in the puff-piece interviews he did her, as the sharp, twangy CHAR-ly, Gibson). I’ve been noticing an annoying tendency by both the reporters as well as the public (and politicians) for using the same phrases over and over again. Here are a few that I’ve just about had enough of:

    Come Together
    What does that phrase mean? Aside from the sexual double-entendre, as far as I can tell, it means to have a public meeting where  problems like gang violence, racial strife and poverty are all magically overcome by an aura of good fellowship. Sorry, I’m not buying it. It’s an empty phrase uttered over and over again in front of TV cameras by people who have no idea what they are saying.

    Bipartisan
    Until recently ‘bipartisan’ used to mean something. I think it meant that both of the big, iconic US political parties support something, as opposed to its more common opposite, ‘partisan’ (which now that I think of it, could have been Monopartisan). Now,’ bipartisan’ is uttered by politicians meaning (depending on which side they are on)  ‘Something I wanted but never got’ or ‘Something we should all look like we are trying for even though we really don’t want it anyway’.  Like Lite and Fat-Free or Sustainable, it’s an now a meaningless word held aloft like a flag of victory or rag of defeat.

    Wall Street always followed by Main Street
    It used to be that you could say ‘Wall Street’ and everybody knew that it referred to the New York Stock Exchange, as well as the other business and organizations in that general geographic area of Manhattan. Now, like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum or Flotsam and Jetsam, it has become a stupid shorthand for the hostility between the rich and connected in the Financial Services Sector vs. Middle America. Like two squabbling children, we are supposed to make sure both are taken care of, but not to let the other get jealous or sulky. I hope they break up the idiom before it becomes another ‘prim and proper’ or ‘tooth and nail’.

    Bailout
    ‘Bailout’ originally meant ‘an act of loaning or giving capital to a failing company in order to save it from bankruptcy, insolvency, or total liquidation and ruin’. (Wikipedia). Now it’s almost become a joke phrase, meaning  Free Money.  Enough, already. It’s never funny.

    …and the word or phrase that I’ve found the both the most ubiquitous and annoyingly imprecise on the news these past months:

    Transparent
    I’ve heard this word used so many times, I’ve started doing the old Pee-Wee’s Playhouse shtick (well, not screaming real loud, but saying ‘ding!’) every time it is uttered.  I think it was to suggest that like a glass house, the operations and decisions of an organization (such as the Federal Government) were to be easily apprehended by the public, typically by using a Web Site or some other publicly accessible medium. Wasn’t that what C-SPAN was supposed to do? (except of course, nobody but the wonks and fanatics bothered to watch it). Again, like ‘Come Together’, Transparent is another word or phrase overused to the point of meaninglessness.

    There are others, but these are the ones that come to mind today. I’m sure that in a few weeks I’ll be sick of ‘Torture Memo’ and ‘Pandemic’, because they’ll have been made just as meaningless through repetition by that time.