Joe Wong Slays ’em at the Annual RTCA Dinner

President Obama made the news for doing some standup the other night at the Annual Radio and Television Correspondents’ Dinner in Washington, DC, but I think the real news was someone else on the program. I’d never seen this comedian before,  but I was absolutely blown away by how funny he was and how good his timing and delivery were. If this is any indication of his talent, I hope we’ll be seeing more of Joe Wong:

I also hope he tours Canada soon. How about a double bill with Russell Peters?

Happy Thanksgiving to the US

While here in Canada we celebrated our Thanksgiving back on October 12th, this one is ‘the big one’ that we hear about from the South. With that in mind, I thought I’d send a little bit of Beethovenian Good Will (by way of the Muppets) your way, my American friends and family:

(Thanks to Brenda Cadman of October 17 Media for finding this. )

I haven’t been blogging much this month (maybe it’s the rain — 22 days of it this month!, maybe it’s the time of year — very busy). I will make a serious effort to get something more substantial here this coming week. In the meantime…

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!

Be embraced, you millions!
This kiss for the whole world!

Things Only a Republican Could Believe

I haven’t blogged much about US politics in a while, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been following the farce that is the current debate about ‘Death Panels’, Obama’s birth certificate, Conspiracies about the subversive artwork around Rockefeller Center and other inanities.

I saw this on, and would normally merely link to it, but it’s so spot-on that I just had to include it here. Sure, it’s got some rude words and is a bit angry, but these days, so are a lot of us:

So, y’all remember that email that went around years ago called “Things Only a Republican Could Believe”? I’m pretty sure there was a Democratic variant as well. Well, I’ve put together a new and updated list and wanted to run it by you. Please feel free to add to it or offer corrections\comments. If you like it — email it out to your spamming list. I’m hoping for a bit of a viral effect to get it circulating. Satire is an effective weapon against craziness!

I make no apologies if you consider yourself a Republican. I am a registered Independent and have voted Republican at various levels of government, but the current crop of Republicans at the national level are off the reservation. To call them bat shit crazy would be an insult to bat shit.

  • Parents who don’t want their children to pray in school are Anti-American zealots — parents who don’t want their children to listen to a speech by the President of the United States telling them to work hard and get good grades are noble patriots.
  • Peacefully demonstrating against the country starting an international war is treason — showing up with automatic weapons to protest healthcare reform is democracy at its finest.
  • Any government official with a desk job should have every action scrutinized — any government official with a badge and a gun should never be questioned or disrespected. At all. Ever.
  • Questioning the legitimacy of an election because the “winner” was selected by the Supreme Court is sour grapes — questioning the legitimacy of an election because the winner (by the largest number of votes in American history) is really a Kenyan born Muslim despite all evidence to the contrary is being a vigilant American.
  • Lying about a blowjob is an impeachable offense — lying about a war is no big deal, really.
  • Investigating a shady land deal involving the First Lady is a matter of National Identity — investigating the use of torture at the direction of the Executive Branch is a partisan witch hunt.
  • Executing Japanese officers for waterboarding prisoners during WWII shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights — waterboarding (our own) prisoners of our shows that we have the moral high ground on human rights.
  • Sitting two rows in front of Jane Fonda in a 1970 anti-war rally is an OUTRAGE!  Shaking Saddam’s hand in 1983…meh, not so much.
  • Anyone who questions the president during a time of war is giving aide and comfort to the enemy and should be deported…unless the president in question has a (D) next to their name in which case you should undermine them at every turn even if you have to routinely make shit up to do it.
  • Socialism, Marxism, Communism and Fascism are all interchangeable words that mean pretty much the same thing.
  • Anyone who abuses drugs should be locked up indefinitely…unless they are a popular Republican radio host in which case they need your prayers as they recover from the illness of addiction.
  • Health Insurance companies have your best interests in mind and anyone who thinks otherwise is trying to turn America into the Godless heathen nation of Sweden where everyone in the country dies (eventually).
  • Obama is an atheist communist muslim who attended a radical christian church.
  • Believing that human activity could impact the global environment is crazy talk — believing that an invisible man in the sky personally told George Bush to invade Iraq to fulfill Biblical prophecy is logically sound.
  • The verdict is still out on evolution — but Jesus Christ returning in our lifetimes is a pretty much a given.
  • The media are unquestionably biased against Republicans — Talk Radio, The Washington Times, The Weekly Standard, The Wall Street Journal, Rightwing Blogs, Fox News and NewsCorp are not part of the media.
  • The government should have no part in regulating multinational corporations as they make decisions that impact the lives of millions of people — government should regulate individuals by determining who they can marry, what kind of intercourse they can have, what they can smoke, how to manage their pregnancy and how to proceed with end of life decisions.
  • Communicating with hostile nations is a stab in the back to our great nation — Reagan communicating with the USSR during the Cold War was Political Genius.
  • Iran is a mortal threat to our nation and anyone who attempts to talk to them is traitorous scum — selling weapons to Iran and then funneling the money to start wars in South America is clearly in our National interest.
  • George Bush kept the nation safe after 9-11 (NOTE: the Anthrax attacks, the DC Sniper and Hurricane Katrina don’t count. Also, the fact that 9-11 happened on his watch despite receiving a security briefing specifically warning of the attack doesn’t count either.)
  • Social Security, Meidcare, public schooling, public libraries, fire departments, police departments and the US Military are as American as Apple Pie — universal healthcare is ZOMGDEATHPANELSOCIALISM!!
  • George W Bush is a regular ‘ole Texas rancher just like you and me despite the fact that he was born in Connecticut, attended two Ivy League schools, bought the Crawford ranch just before running for president, sold it immediate after leaving office and is terrified of horses.
  • The two guys at the center of the Watergate and Iran-Contra scandals are trustworthy voices in discussions of current national policy and should be taken at face-value.

…and my addition that I heard some time back on twitter and still quote to this day:

  • Gay Marriage is a crime against nature but Turducken is OK??
  • Follow up:
    I loved this bit of video from MSNBC that sums up how I’m feeling about a great deal of America these days:

    Brilliance From Keith Olbermann

    Keith Olbermann, the MSNBC pundit, and frequent spokesman for the US Left, kept me believing that common decency had not completely left our former country during the last administration. I still watch his show via an iTunes podcast, since we don’t get MSNBC here. I’ve kept watching him, mainly because I still want to keep in touch with what’s going on down there, and I have to admit that the results of yesterday’s Provincial election here have me a little disappointed, especially since we can’t vote yet. (I’d say ‘Wait till next year’, but we’ll have to wait another 4 years to get our chance.)

    Despite the fact that Olbermann doesn’t have George W. Moron to kick around any more (and let’s face it, as James Carville said on Real Time with Bill Maher: “The man was a walking punch-line.”), every once in a while he is able to mix his portion of outrage with equal parts humour, and the result is priceless. Tonight, he was in rare form, and I just had to share:

    Visit for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

    He’s a geniusGenius, I tells ya’!