The Autumn Semester

For those not famil­iar with the prac­tice, blog­gers some­times see an inter­est­ing idea that they think might stim­u­late some cre­ativ­i­ty out in the world, so they invite oth­ers (by ‘tag­ging’ them) to try their hand at the same sub­ject or meme
So, my friend and fel­low blog­ger Mak­taaq, I accept your chal­lenge, which is:

…to describe 5–6 imag­i­nary cours­es, each intend­ed to ‘fix up some­thing in my life’ (or, as I also inter­pret it, improve it, giv­en new­ly acquired knowl­edge or skills). I get to use at least one course from the tag­ger, since it’s more fun to go to class­es with a friend. Final­ly, I get to tag 5 oth­ers, which I’ll do at the end. So, School is In Session…

First, the cours­es I’d take with Mak­taaq? Let’s start with the obvious:

Arach­nid Wran­gling 102
On suc­cess­ful com­ple­tion of the course you will be able to under­go suc­cess­ful removal of spi­ders and scor­pi­ons from your envi­ron­ment, both with uten­sils and bare hands.
Pre­req­ui­site: Insect Squash­ing 101.

We’ve dis­cov­ered that while there are rel­a­tive­ly few insects to be found in our home here (cer­tain­ly far few­er than the num­bers that we used to deal with back in Boston and in trips to Ver­mont and New Hamp­shire), there are a lot of spi­ders. And by a lot, I mean that every oth­er week I have to kill one in the tub in the morn­ing, and that’s no fun before a show­er or even hav­ing ful­ly wok­en up. Pam is very fright­ened of spi­ders, and a large one in the kitchen had her wear­ing shoes for dish wash­ing, since my inef­fec­tu­al swipe at him caused him to scur­ry under the stove.
Here’s the oth­er course of Mak­taaq’s that I’d also take:

Dec­o­ra­tive Flour­ish­es 499
Impress poten­tial lovers and intim­i­date your min­ions with a mere pen! This stu­dio course is for any­one who needs a dra­mat­ic sig­na­ture. Using Eliz­a­bethan and Medieval Euro­pean sources, stu­dents will learn devel­op their own exag­ger­at­ed hand­writ­ing through the study of Celtic cross­es, curlicues, flour­ish­es and twisty things. Assign­ments include sign­ing cred­it cards and spray can tag­ging. Pre­req­ui­site: Scrib­bling 100.

While I do have a fair­ly fan­cy sig­na­ture, I’ve always been impressed with cal­lig­ra­phy, etc. Besides, when­ev­er I do actu­al­ly write any­thing, it often looks like a bad ver­sion of Archi­tect printing.
And what oth­er cours­es would I take? Let’s see…

Orga­ni­za­tion for the Neat­ness-Chal­lenged 4002
Not sure how to get your mess under con­trol? This class will deal with spa­tial and tem­po­ral orga­ni­za­tion­al effec­tive­ness in a vari­ety of spaces and sit­u­a­tions. Get some valu­able tips for deal­ing with infor­ma­tion and paper overload.
Pre­req­ui­site: Paper Shred­ding 4001

British Colum­bia Geog­ra­phy 399
Clue­less about where all of those places in the Low­er Main­land are? Can’t tell Noot­ka from Bel­la Coola (or even Bela Lugosi?) This course will get you straight­ened out, with numer­ous field trips to var­i­ous BC geo­log­i­cal and cul­tur­al land­marks. Stu­dents will com­pare topo­log­i­cal maps to actu­al ter­rain via heli­copter and float-plane fly-overs, and at the end of the semes­ter, the class will pool their new­ly gained knowl­edge at a Spa retreat in Tofino.
Pre­req­ui­site: None, except for a hefty tuition fee

Speed Read­ing 205
Using a vari­ety of tech­niques, stu­dents will endeav­or to dou­ble, triple, and even­tu­al­ly quin­tu­ple their read­ing speed while gain­ing com­pre­hen­sion and reten­tion of mate­r­i­al, with the ulti­mate goal of ingest­ing Dos­to­evsky’s The Broth­ers Kara­ma­zov in 23 minutes.
Pre­req­ui­site: Read­ing Glass­es for those who are los­ing their vision. That means you, Drucker.

Effi­cient Sleep Tech­niques 102
Are you get­ting enough sleep? More accu­rate­ly, is your sleep get­ting you enough? Learn how to cram 7–8 hours of sleep into a sin­gle hour. Through 5 minute ‘pow­er naps’, learn to oper­ate at peak effi­cien­cy fort weeks with­out sig­nif­i­cant time spent toss­ing and turn­ing in bed. At the end of the course, stu­dents will be grad­ed on the qual­i­ty and inten­si­ty of their snooz­ing. Extra cred­it will include nap­ping prac­tice as well as indi­vid­ual projects in direct­ed dreaming.
Pre­req­ui­site: Begin­ning Sleep 101

Now, who do I tag? Let’s see what Isabel, Gene, Nan­cy, John and Monique can with this…

6 Replies to “The Autumn Semester”

  1. oooo— I’m in! And right off the bat, I’ll take the “Dec­o­ra­tive Flour­ish­es” with you! A friend has Bach’s sig­na­ture as a tatoo — it’s stun­ning­ly gor­geous. What could I do with “Nan­cy”?

  2. Bach’s sig­na­ture as a tat­too sounds like one of the coolest ideas. Hmmm, I won­der how a Beethoven one would look (his are much messier)…

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