My friend Matt got me a copy of the book “How to Be a Canadian”, and I’ve gotten through about a third of it already: It’s a scream. One of my favorite parts so far is:
Official Role Model
The Russians have a bear, the Brits a lion, and the Americans a mighty eagle. In Canada. the national animal is a beaver. Renowned for its hard work, even temper, industrious nature and … oh, who are we kidding? The beaver is a forty-pound water rat whose most heroic trait is that he thinks to slap his tail and warn his buddies before he runs away. And cripes, it’s not like Canadians were short on choices. The country is filled with nobler, more awe-inspring animals. The timber wolf. The grizzly bear. The mountain lion. The woodland bison. Hell, even a caribou or a muskox would have been better than a buck-toothed, webbed-toed, waddle-happy rodent. But nooooo, when Canada’s national animal was finally made official in 1975, it was the beaver that was chosen.
I remember that when we were looking for some land to buy in Vermont, the Real Estate agent showed us one dramatic home site with a pond below it, and what looked like a swamp further down from that. The swamp was the result of a beaver dam, the agent told us. If we wanted to get rid of it, we could end up in a battle with the beavers, until we had them relocated (or, I assume, we relocated and left the next battle to some other poor humans). Needless to say, we didn’t buy that plot of land. Even if we had, Plan B (moving to Canada) made sure that Mr. Beaver and his fellow furry civil engineers wouldn’t have us to dam up anyway. So it’s a moat point. Ouch. Sorry.
Shocked. I am shocked.
The beaver is a noble animal.
Beavers are really cool. They got to be the national animal because that’s what brought the Europeans to our frigid shores.
Beaver pelts are pretty cool too; they’ve got guard hair and then they’ve got beaver wool.
I didn’t say anything bad about the beavers, the guys who wrote the book did. As for making them the national symbol because the early trappers came for their pelts, well, that’s also a little odd. None of the others (Lion, Eagle, Bear) are known for being a product. It’s worth noting that Benjamin Franklin was not in favor of the Eagle being the national animal for the US. He wanted the Turkey.
Can you imagine the millions of people sitting down for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, all getting ready to partake in a feast featuring the national symbol? Good thing that never happened.
Don’t you think that they would eat something else?
Good point.